-this is a cleansing of negative thoughts entry. I am dropping things out of mind and putting them to bed-
I’ve read that a lot of people get depressed at the holidays as they think about family (or lack of family) and reflecting on life and who cares about them and all that good stuff. I also think that as the new year approaches it is a time to reflect on what one has accomplished over the past year, and if you haven’t lived up to your own expectations and projects and stuff seemed to have stalled, I can relate to that feeling.
Yesterday was one of those down days for me. On surface reflections 2009 wasn’t the ‘best year yet’ and that has some concern. There was the getting laid off thing, which impacted my ego to some extent, even though I know it was directly tied to the economy and was nothing personal. Still it was the only the second time in my life that I have been on the receiving end of “that’s enough now” and that hurts a bit.
I was also reflecting on the kids and where they are at in life and debating how much my parenting style has impacting the choices they are making (good and bad) All ‘children’ as they grow and explore make good and bad choices and somehow some of them are tied to how they were raised and others are not, and we will never really know one way or the other, so that needs to blow away in the breeze.
A couple of things that I have been hoping would come to fruition this year seem to have stalled or become too vague. Without focus and clear definition, success is extremely unlikely.
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Life is good.
Still very happy in my marriage. Enjoying ‘the arts’ more. Attending more shows and concerts lately. library resources are amazing – reading multiple books and seeing new movies all the time thanks to the free public option. Vehicles are running well and dependable. Great learning experience this summer at Second City. Have enjoyed performing with Dutch Blitzkrieg and at community theaters. Have a nice home to live in. Great friends in my life on a regular basis. Supportive people are in my life. Bass playing is coming along – think I’ll do some lessons soon. PaPA has had an interesting year and articles about the group are out there both on internet and traditional type media. Get Inspired! Project = awesome. UC=whew. Genesius fun. Working out again. Writing more. Mom’s 80. Family. New Friends and Old Friends. My health. bluetooth. Running. Ideas.
