Have you ever lost contact with who you are? I am feeling really disconnected from who I am, because who I am is strongly associated with what I do, how I earn my living, how I fill the hours of my day. I have always had a strong sense of all of these things, but now I don't.

I started looking for an interim job, but now the job search has me feeling like instead of working on the licensing, I am looking for a job. I can find a job easily enough, but not one that pays enough (covers the bills) and not one that is temporary, but doesn't interfere with the licensing process (I.E. training sessions,etc)

The other factor is that I can find a well paying job that is similar to the job I quit, but that isn't what I want to do. Otherwise I wouldn't have quit my old job. I want the magic job fairy to tap me with the wand and the prefect job is mine.

I have resumes out on Career Link, Monster and at the Albright Alumni web site. in the meantime I am looking in the paper at the want ads...and feeling vague about my ambitions, desires, etc. what do I want to do? what will fulfill me? Define me? I really am feeling pretty much like a canvas that has been painted on and repainted a bunch of times, and then given a clean coat of white paint, and then stuck in the closet while the artist takes a long bath or maybe goes on vacation. I am the artist but don't have an idea of what color to start with, let alone what the picture will be.

I really had a great sense of who I was while I was writing the books and articles, but since that isn't working out monetarily (temporarily situation) I am having issues with the redefination of me.

This article turns out to be much more of a blog entry than anything anyone else would find interesting. sorry about that, but I needed to get this out of my system to help me to proceed. I have recently started getting licensed to sell insurance and securities. I am in the process of doing the studying and getting the formal background needed to get these licenses because I want to help people with their financial situations. All that sounds good. I got a job offer from a company to be a financial advisor, but the position doesn't officially start until the licensing process is complete. I had no idea the process could take as long as it has. I need to have an income now. I am sort of committed to this company, but sort of not. It is a loose association, but one that I really want to see through. But there is no money in it for probably another two months.